Your Wedding at Grace Lutheran Church

Getting married is one of the most important decisions in your lives. Grace Lutheran Church and its pastors are pleased to share this happy time with you, and wish to do everything possible to make it a most significant and memorable experience. Your desire to have a church wedding indicates that you see your marriage as a commitment made before God, with emphasis on the Christ-centered character of the wedding service. While there is much room for flexibility in a church wedding, the guidelines in this booklet are meant to make planning easier and more enjoyable.

Policies
After you have selected a tentative date and time for your wedding, it is important to make your initial appointment with the pastor. It is good planning to have an alternative date and time in mind in case the church is in use or the pastors are not available on the first date selected. Please do not plan any part of the wedding until after you have determined the availability of the church and pastor. The pastors reserve the right to substitute for each other in case of necessity. This meeting should take place at least 6 months before your preferred date to allow adequate time for counseling.

At your first meeting with the pastor, he/she will enter your wedding date into the official church calendar. The pastor will discuss with you the many details of your wedding and give you the name of the organist who will meet with you after the date has been entered on the church calendar. You will then need to schedule and pay for the required pre-marital coaching seminar. A wedding coordinator will contact you 8 to 10 weeks prior to the wedding, and you should plan to meet with her in person during this time period before the wedding.

You are invited to consider having your reception here at Grace Lutheran. Contact the church office if you would like more information about this option.

If you would like other clergy to participate in the wedding, it should be discussed with the pastor at Grace before any arrangements are made.

Since weddings are regulated by the State, you must secure your license in McHenry County, State of Illinois. The license should be in the church office the Monday prior to the wedding along with all appropriate fees. No wedding can proceed without this. Please refer to the fee schedule for costs.

No rearrangement can be made of the church décor. There will be no exception to this rule. Please inform your photographer and florist. All decorations should be in place at least one hour before the wedding. No decorations may be fastened to the woodwork or furnishings of the chancel and nave. Settings in the chancel should be limited to palms, two pairs of standing baskets, or bouquets on flower stands.

The practice of releasing balloons, throwing rice or birdseed, confetti or any such substance at the bride and groom following the service is not permitted in or on church premises. Such practice causes hours of additional clean-up for church staff, is harmful to the environment, and can be a very dangerous hazard for those who will use the church facilities following the wedding.

No alcoholic beverage will be allowed in the church prior to or during the rehearsal, prior to or during the wedding, at a church reception, or on the church property. Please ask your attendants and ushers to refrain from drinking alcohol before the ceremony. The pastor reserves the right to refuse to participate if this rule is ignored.

This is a non-smoking facility so there will be no smoking in any room of the church. This includes the social hall, restrooms and dressing rooms.

 

Pre-Marital Counseling

Grace Lutheran Church believes that God blesses marriages and desires that the union should grow, mature and develop as a healthy, caring, loving relationship. Grace is committed to helping that marriage start strong. To foster the importance of your commitment to each other we utilize pre-marital counseling. There are three (3) one-hour mandatory sessions that will focus on the building blocks of your relationship and your coming life as husband and wife.

                These sessions will cover topics such as communication, conflict resolution and family of origin issues. We will use the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman and assessment tools from the book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman. Assignments will be given and must be taken seriously for effective work to take place.

                The couple will need to contact Claire Brown at 477-4024 to make the appointments for the three sessions. This must be done in a timely fashion prior to the wedding day (preferably 4 months to the day). The charge for each session is $75.00 and will be paid at the time of the counseling session.

                The pastor will consult with Claire Brown prior to the wedding day and a release of information will be necessary before that can occur. Remember, we want the best for you not only on the wedding day but also for your life as a married couple.

Bulletins

Wedding bulletins are available through the church office. Information for the bulletins must be into the church office 14 days prior to rehearsal. This timeframe will allow you to proofread and approve the bulletins before they are printed. You can receive a sample bulletin from the pastor at one of your meetings. If you choose to prepare your own bulletins, a rough draft copy must be approved by the pastor you are working with. This will ensure a proper worship service bulletin. See Wedding Fee Schedule for cost.

Photographer

Photographs can be taken by amateur or professional photographers. No flash pictures are allowed during the wedding service. There are many advantages in taking pictures before the wedding: everyone looks fresher, wedding guests are able to greet and visit with the bridal couple during the receiving line, and leave for the reception in a timely manner.

Chancel furnishings are not to be moved by the photographer. Please instruct your photographer to be as unobtrusive as possible, particularly in regard to the pastor and the organist. This will help maintain the beauty and dignity of your wedding. Videotaping is permitted but must not intrude on the ceremony or affect the lighting desired by the bride and groom. Videotaping can be done from the choir loft area or from the sound box. No cameras are allowed in the chancel (altar area) during the service.

Photographs in the sanctuary must be completed no later than 45 minutes before the ceremony.

Flowers and Other Decorations

The church does not provide an aisle runner. The church has a unity candle stand that may be used by the wedding party. The church can also provide a wedding banner to be displayed the day of the wedding in the chancel area.

Following the wedding, there is to be no clean-up activity (removal of decorations, flowers, etc.) in the nave until all of the worshipers have left. Please make sure that extra flower stands and any other decorations are removed at that time.

Ushers

All ushers should arrive ready for duty at least one hour prior to the wedding or at the designated time for pictures to be taken prior to the ceremony. It is good church custom for the usher to precede those being ushered, rather than to have the lady take his arm. However, you may choose whatever custom you desire. It is not necessary to ask those entering if they are “friends of the bride” or “friends of the groom.” (The night of rehearsal, ushers will be instructed to watch to the best of their ability to see that there are an even number of guests on each side of the church.) There are places designated for the immediate members of the families, but for all others, there is no special “side.”

Following the recessional, selected ushers are to return at once to escort first the parents from the nave and then the congregation. Ushers are responsible for lighting the candles unless the bride and groom have chosen this area to include other special friends or family members.

Wedding Music Guidelines

The sacred nature of Christian marriage must be reflected in the music you choose as a part of your wedding service. The music should be both joyful and worshipful. The texts of any special music you select need to express more than the love of one person for another, just as Christian marriage involves more than the affirmation of human love. Varying styles of musical setting are acceptable. The music, that it might be consistent with our Christian understanding of marriage, must be scriptural, or be prayerful, or be a blessing sung as a benediction. From prelude to postlude, music needs to be dignified and worshipful.

All arrangements regarding wedding music should be made in consultation with the Grace Lutheran Church organist. It is best to wait with any specific plans until you have had that meeting. At that time, you can present any ideas you might have. The organist will suggest other possibilities as well. Music not deemed appropriate for the wedding service should be used at the reception.

A Grace Lutheran Church organist is expected to play for weddings. If you would like to request someone else, please discuss this at the time of your meeting with the pastor. We can honor such a request only if the person follows Grace’s music guidelines, has had considerable formal organ instruction, and will be able to secure the necessary practice time on this instrument. The final decision will be up to the Grace Lutheran Church organist in these matters.

The organist can offer you a list of candidates for a soloist to further the service message or instrumentalist as a musical enhancement if you would like to utilize these options. The congregation can further participate by singing a hymn. Employing instrumentalists expands choices of processional music. Please plan to meet with the organist 8-10 weeks before the wedding.

Music is an important part of any worship service. Martin Luther said that next to the Word of God, “music deserves the highest praise.” It has the power to amplify our acts of praise. With thoughtful planning, it will be a special blessing to you and your wedding guests.